By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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