none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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