Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
