That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
