He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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