just come out here and I will go home with you...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
