yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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