Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
