Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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