It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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