Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
