Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
