Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
