Taylor Swift is so right about you.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
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he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
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I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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