i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i just had sex bonerless
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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