you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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