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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.

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  The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"

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  19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am

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• (626): View more from California

  I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going

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• (607): View more from New York

  He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??

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• (518): View more from New York

  I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...

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