Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
