Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.