I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?