Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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