Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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