If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
