I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She's the barista slut.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
