:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
