He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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