So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
