that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
