i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
