dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
