You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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