this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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