i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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