I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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