Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
How does one acquire holy water?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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