I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize