i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Bring me that man meat
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
