if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
