Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Sext me about skeletons
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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