how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
