No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
