end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
