I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
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