let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
