would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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