This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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