i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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