This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
