sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
