Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
