Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
