Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
