after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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