I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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