Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We had sex on a dog bed..
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
