I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
organizing the empties. That sober.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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