I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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