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• (408): View more from California

  420 ftw

  Fav 16 1668 811

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  what's the vibe there?

  (917): View more from New York City

  extraordinary amounts of gine

  Fav 11 2161 852

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  She went from zero to smokin in five shots

  Fav 1 2472 1081

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.

  Fav 14 4759 877

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China

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• (607): View more from New York

  My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor

  Fav 7 2635 871

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• (213): View more from California

  Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch

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• (801): View more from Utah

  My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.

  Fav 0 364 588

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.

  (1-740): View more from Ohio

  Why haven't you proposed already?

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• (510): View more from California

  I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!

  Fav 0 8 24

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