You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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