im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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