And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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