so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
