i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
