I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
