Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize