I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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