Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
