I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
