new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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