That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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